Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
