I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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