he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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