if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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