I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Randomize
