how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
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This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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