that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
