I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
