You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
