I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's not a walk of shame if you run
as a side note pls kill me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
