Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
