he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
