Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
