I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
