dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
