i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
