But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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