Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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