i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
