so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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