i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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