I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
