im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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