just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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