I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
