Tell her she can't have a vagina
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
