i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
