like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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