So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
