I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize