I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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