No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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