one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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