I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
