im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
