Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
