Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
