We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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