im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
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all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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