Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I believe in your delicious
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
