When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
