fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
