After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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