I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Randomize