you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
