i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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