WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
