You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
