fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just high enough for therapy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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