just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
