We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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