I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
