just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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