My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
