so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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