Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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