bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
