Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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