Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
