it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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