Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
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we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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