I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize