Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
